I’m meeting Sussie for dinner tonight. I’m thinking thai at Churchill arms. Or maybe something english if Sussie is dying for it but the english food is in general quite crappo (sorry english people). The Elgin is nice though. Mmm, hamburger…
But more than anything I’m thinking ice cream at the italian place. Pistachio for sure (they better not be out, I get grumpy then) and banana.
Be damned, hungry already and there is a couple of hours to go.
Some days are heavier than other. From the moment you wake up they press on all the positives making them shrink into tiny bits of nothingness. Everything seem sad and it’s hard to remember the good things.
You know they are there, the positives, you try to remind yourself of all the amazing things you have. You do have all of those amazing things and you feel guilty for even feeling those sharp bits of nothingness nestled in your heart. Realizing you have something is not the same thing as feeling that you have something.
Those heavy days makes it heard to breathe.
You must learn how to close those blue eyes of yours and see the world for what it is sometimes. No one will know how to look after you if you don’t ask them. They wont know how they hurt if you don’t tell them.
That is what makes it hard to breathe.
An era is going to its end. Little Tompen, all grown up by now, is moving back to Sweden in a couple of days. That needed a goodbye in style so we went to Balans for brunch.
Laxen sported his P cap. He was very happy with that to start with but then he realized he could be having a Lax cap. Then the hunt began for the perfect cap.
The guys were somewhat hang over. Tompen is just slightly (crazy) bloated
Yummy! I was feeling crap (I am so tired of this, my body and I are not on the same wave length at the moment) and didnt eat but it looked amazing for those who did.
Elin had both quesedillas and french toast. As you do when you are Elin.
After all that amazing food we went to Chelsea farmers market for Pimms. Or, the others had pimms. I had thoughts on what to do to this treacherous body of mine.
Elin was happy and somewhat weird. As it should be.
Oliver asked me to help him shop some booze for some chill out time after dinner tonight.
Im thinking a hot shot bathroom, a beer bucket in the garden and maybe a little champagne fountain in the living room. I mean, they are not planning on staying in the flat that long.
Home again. Im getting really tired of my bodys inability to behave. What is this all about. The doctor told me there is nothing to be done about the Vincent look, that i have high blood pressure and took a test of my rashes. I felt like a failure as a working human person.
Talked to my mum and she is not the most curling of parents. When we were kids she used to say ‘go to school first and come back if you are sick’ but even she toold me to stay home, even if it was because ‘no one should have to look at you when you look like a monster’. Which is true.