Its been a week. The longest week in my life. I kid you not. At 33 you know it gets better, you know you need time so you curl up in bed and wait for that time to go. Tick tock. Its slow when you want nothing than for the days to go, when the nights are twice as long since you dont fall asleep until 4 and when you dont want to see anyone because you are scared of what they see in your eyes.
Then you need some survival strategies. Things to help you get through. Here are mine (and here is a link to another brilliant one)
1. Cry. It needs out. Silent crying in a bathroom at work, wrecking sobs in the sofa, misted eyes on the tube and the tired, no energy, crying in bed at 3 in morning. All of it helps.
2. Watch something easy. No lost love, no new love, no sadness. Watch things that are safe. Im watching Once upon a time right now. Fairy tales.
3. The same goes for reading. Im reading soft porn about highlanders. That has no depth. Perfect.
4. Eat whatever you feel like. You need the energy. I had McDonalds for the first time in 4 years. It was the best thing ever. My other food over the weekend have been cold baked beans out of the can, salad and lamb mince, crumpets and candy.
4. Let someone take care of you. If you have a male friend let him drag you out and remind you how much fun you are. Let him buy you your night food, talk to only you in the too loud pub and put you to bed with a glass of water. I find that guys are perfect for that. They dont try and tell you what would be best, they let you drink way too much vodka and make sure you are ok.
5. Make plans. Talk to anyone you feel like spending time with in the coming months and make thousand and one plan. Dream of going to Amsterdam for a party weekend or plan to go for a walk in the park. Everything helps. They remind you that there are still a world out there.
6. Allow yourself to be selfish and not see people if you dont want to. Your friends want to help and you will get a lot of offers of hanging out. Choose the ones where you think it will actually help you. Dont do it for someone else sake.
7. Live the cliche. Sometimes you need to live it out by re creating every sad movie you ever seen. On Saturday I walked around in my robe all day with mascara lines down my cheek eating beans cold and cry singing to every sad song I could think of. It helped.
8. Create you own sad music list. Write every word you need saying. Read quotes. Become a pinterest addict.
9. Talk to your friends. Text them in the middle of the night or at work. Let them help. See yourself in their eyes. Talk about memories about a happier time. They know you before him and will be there after. They’ve seen you get up before.
10. Allow yourself to be dark as f*ck. You dont have to appreciate the sunshine or smell the flowers. You are allowed to hate happy people. Just remember that it gets better.
11. Put on make up, dress up, make yourself pretty and dance. Dancing always helps. When you are done with the sad music listen to the happy one.
12. Allow yourself to see sings in everything.Your song being played on the radio, its a sign. Your plant dying, its a sign. Your jacket that was a gift catching fire – its a fucking sign. Sometimes you need to feel that the universe understands you. Let it, it does.
13. Respect your sadness. Let no one tell you not too. You are exactly as sad as you feel. Nothing less. And it will take the time it does.