Home life

Chillin vanillin at home today. After my venture out to work yesterday arm was pretty fucked. As was I. Good thing is that it meant sleeping properly for almost the entire night. Blessed.

Morning was spent wrapped looking like Christmas. Can you believe I haven’t listened to Christmas songs once this year, the whole thing got interrupted by corpse arm. 

I also did some washing. It was even more boring than normal being one armed. 

Another thing that is not so much boring as really hard is making food. Here is what happened for today’s lunch. 

And I didn’t even make anything edible. This is tuna, hummus, olives and cucumber. Yes, Michelin starred. With one armed shopping and cooking you have to choose carefully what to imear. I apparently chose this…
Now going over to Laura’s since home is becoming just a tad too depressing. 

The life of corpse arm

So, what has happened since last time. Arm still broken, im getting more and more bored by sitting at home. Friends still awesome and keeping me company. Life kind of simultaneously horrible and kind of brilliant because catch ups with everyone cool.

Kis has been my saviour these days. For keeping me company every day but also for being simply hilarious just being herself.

This is us baking a banana cake. One monkey mama and one one armed bandit. You could see chaos happen a long way off. Especially it being and Torsten and Strulsson. We used to put fear in club owners heart by swinging from chandeliers, ass butt tiny ladies heads, dance barefoot, bark like dogs and break mirrors/ceilings/hearts.

Now we bake.

Everything went fine. We were rolling. I was even cracking eggs one handed and whisking like a pro. Banana bread was rocking and not even Kixs magical anti baking skills could ruin this.

Or so i thought….


Half way through cake in oven time Kix shouted ‘no way a cake could have to be in the oven for an hour (like the recipe said) and wanted to take it out. We did and it was all mushy inside (go figure). She then went to put it back in…and dropped it. Damn you Kix anti baking curse.

But, never let a good cake go to waste, she scooped it up with me crying with laughter with the words ‘i dont mind a little floor’

Such a pretty, perfect cake. It had floor hair in it. But tasted divine.

Other than that. Hand keep swelling. Looking like a baby hand. But less cute. More like a zombie baby hand.

Corpse arm… Yeah, all set for Halloween. W finds it so weird he wont come close. He sniffs it and leave.

On Friday Lollo came and we had girls night with ciders, cheese and Magic Mike. Best. Girls. Night. Ever. And also the worst movie when you have corpse arm and cant party for weeks.

On Saturday put on clothes and went out. Into the real world. It had people and smells and colour. Also scary kids looking like they wrre going to run into arm. But, I survived.

Met some familiar faces, drank bubbly and felt like i did a sucessful venture into real world. In the evening was film marathon with Jason. Winning.

Sunday this little dude was hanging with me and i felt SO SORRY for myself. I even cried. Not showered. You could say i was being pretty pathetic. As in really, really pathetic.

Lucky for me A saved me by asking if he should come over. That had me showering (!) and making an effort to pull myself together (!!). He brought food, stories of the outside world and even changed my sheets after i spilled coke on them. After last weeks brownie incient (I got a text saying something like ‘i see something outside your door’ and FREAKED. I mean, did he mean he was outside the door. hello, not showering for 4 days and becoming a neutrum according to Kix. When i eventually dared to look outside he had left a brownie on the door step. Sweet.) he is definitely on plus.

Today work. Bad idea. This post has taken me 1h to write one handed.

Please, give me a Betty

My friend Jason is pretty awesome. Just need to put it out there. In these weeks of my friends making me continiously teary eyed because hot damn they are taking care of me even my new friends like Jazzy D are being absolute stars.

Yesterday he came to mine for a Lord of the rings marathon. That would have been enough to melt my heart. But not only did he do that, he also made me dinner (salmon and home made sweet potato chips anyone?) and brought me 5 (!!) comic books to brighten my otherwise kind of boring days.

Let’s talk about these comic books. Not having read much more than elf quest as a kid (was in love with ALL the characters from that one) I’m a bit of a novice on comics.

Why? So far – brilliant. Started with the one appealing the me the most – Rat Queens. Not. Disappointed. 

Found my spirit animal. I mean come on, never found a better heroine than this. Betty, I want to be you and have you as my best friend at the same time.

Yes, she seriously packed candy and drugs for dinner and I love her with every last beat of my heart. 

This is what I want to say EVERY DAY. If I didn’t feel like I needed to get this right because don’t want to go through healing arm a second longer than needed I would also throw a party and have sex with Orc Dave. 

Or just sit in a corner, read my book and go no on all the pretty boys. That needs to happen too sometimes. 

But honestly, I’ll probably be Betty and make everyone candy apple martinis. Because candy and booze are two of my favourite things.
My confinement to the flat got instantly better thanks to Jason. That is no small feat. 

Broken arm party

So, well, broke my arm in a freak accident. As in I was standing completely still and then sliding on my shoes, movie style, and smashed my arm on a bench on the way down. Snap, broken in two pieces, like a twig.

After an agonising hour stuck in the office waiting for the ambulance with 5 very sweet boys hovering around me I finally got ambulances to the hospital high on laughing gas. Pain. The roads of London are shit with an arm where the bone pipes are dancing.

Dimitra being an angel joined me at the hospital and we spent 5 hours there – me high as a kite continiously saying ‘wowsa, there painkillers are AWESOME’ and poor D chain smoking cigs getting pretty bored. 

At midnight Elin came and took over and after a couple of more hours involving liquid morphine, not getting into a cab because pain and another painful can journey home I was finally on the dog being fed bolognese by nurse Elin. 

On Saturday Kix and Alex, Tom and roxy and mum and dad all came to visit. I felt pretty Royal (looked like death) but was kind of out of it so can’t say I remember much. 

Tomlins stayed and we watched movies in bed and ate pizza. Seriously, if you are to break your arm make sure you have friends moving in for an entire weekend. 

Arm was kept in a sling that was pretty much open over the break so every time I moved if was a bone dance making me sleep like a pretty corpse. I dream of sleeping laying down. 

On Sunday Tomlins left and mum and dad took over and we had Indian take away and I could actually sit by the table. Small victories. 

Monday and Kix, Alex  and Ziggy came to chill. Party. My flat filled with people. Nothing better to take your mind of the fracture feast that was going on. 

This little dude can make anyone happy. 

Ziggy is a little dog Angel and felt something was wrong so kept laying really close but not jumping me like he normally does. Sweetling. 

Kix had put a rota in place for people to come and cook me food so on Monday night Stab came to make me a sandwich tower and heat soup. Yes, most awesome friends in the world. 

Tuesday saw this little dude again and being kind of teary eyes because everyone is so fucking nice to me. Don’t deserve it but won’t say no when I can’t move. Just have to find a way to say thanks to all my brilliant friends. 

These two. So much love. Especially since Alex thinks I’m hilarious. I am little dude and you haven’t even seen my best yet.

Yesterday went to doctor and got robot arm. Feel pretty bad ass. Could also take a shower, hallelujah moment. Best is that I can actually move around pretty freely now and soon might venture out into the world. 

Because my friend are awesome (not sure I told you) Katta came by bringing Halloween gifts. My physical therapy is to build kinder toys and play with ghosts. Yes. 

Work sent flowers as well. I feel more and more like some kind of princess. But also broken. I would exchange the flowers for sleeping down any day. 

My fat, bruised arm. Look and feels like an over boiled sausage. Kix is on her way, was planning to make banana bread but might a bit too much for this broken robot girl. 

The weekend in all its glory

Friday. Weekend. (five power hand emojis). Here are some of the things im REALLY looking forward to.

– Mum and Dad in London. Yes. We will wander around doing completely useless things and eat banging food. And go to Oxford. And probably talk a lot about when im coming home. And if Im meeting any nice, swedish guys wearing jackets that are ready to marry me preferrable yesterday and take me off my parents hands.

– Cashing in my unexpected check with tax pay back. Win. Maybe ill buy myself something extra nice (cause its kind of my thing not buying enough clothes. Like those 2 (!!) pair of shoes I bought from other stories. One pair had electric blue soles. Say no more.)

– One or maybe two drinks tonight. And then hopefully head to The Troxes for some much needed baby and catch up time. A kiss from Alex and a cider and ill be owning this friday.

– Running off for a cheeky drink at Lollo’s bday drinks on Sat. I might put the oldies to bed and go and watch Lollo watch pretty men in tweed.

– Be dog free. Love my dogling but waking up on a weekend not having to walk him is pretty epic. Not seeing parents until midday tomorrow, that either means epic hang over time or read in bed. Cant. Choose.

Completely random picture of a pretty awesome necklace.

Just go out and do it

Went on a date yesterday. If you remember my time lines (yes, anything that works…) Im coming up to the point where Ive promised myself I need to start doing that. Go on dates and actually give someone a chance. Or at least pretend im giving them a chance. Pretending works.

So, well, yesterday i decided that yes, this is the time. Below is how i felt about it (yeah, its kind of scary with a newly healed heart and a feeling that this will end up in a shit storm because life.)

Having W for the evening I decided to cook at mine. And drink cider. I was looking forward to have the other person drinking as well. There might have been a plan of getting him, or me, Very Drunk.

And, despite my earlier misgivings (if by misgiving you mean continously thinking ‘shit, what have I done? So. Not. Ready for this. Can i cancel? Pretend im sick. Eat 5 slices pumpking pie and get sick for real. Make one of my friends call me and pretend she is sick’ for 12 hours straight) i had such a nice evening. I mean, i had forgotten that its pretty awesome getting to know a cute boy that asks (with something close to fear in his eyes) if that really is a unicorn on your wall (hell yeah it is).

And Woolly actually liked him.

In the end I say #winning to going on a date, at least with a sweet guy that laughs at your weirdness and kiss your neck.

Now, Friday!

Internet – you blow my mind

Me and Jason went to flat iron yesterday and had steak. It was a steak day, sometimes you have to let them happen. We talked about my racist ears (cant stand black music) and Jasons indifference do dill. ‘Its a useless spice, show me a dish that is massively improved by dill’. Yes Jason, I will blow your tiny mind.

After dinner we went to Archer Street and listened to waitresses singing while standing on the tables. If that was a place for me? Yes! Jason is a never ending resource of awesome places. #useandabuseyourfriends

But, anyway, it was internet we were going to talk about. Here are some awesome things that are out there. Enjoy.

Eeeeeh yes! Eeyore was my favourite as a kid, maybe not so weird given that I would grow up to basically become him. Remember that kids, let all your clinically depressed friends be as weird as they are because that might just help them get better. And then turn into Eeyoure with a unicorn horn. A unicorn Eeyore.

Some things to know about women. And yeah, we are most of the time all smelling like roses and walking around being perfect.

These wise words about what it is like when you have lived in London for more than 5 years. I agree to basically all of them. Especially 56. And 28. And definitely 20.

This list of awesome people out there on the internet. I want to be best friends with all of them (and I also want the netflix dating app – anyone else watching many many hours of vampire diaries. And is not a girl in her early teens)