Things i love

Here is a list of things I have read/seen/experienced over the last couple of weeks and have to share with you.

A little life – Hanya Yanagihara

This book blew my mind. Its the best ive read in years, hands down. Its moving, beautiful, sad and funny. It had me crying for days. But in a good way. Because it was so beautiful. Everyone who has read it comes back and says the samt thing, even Oliver.

Its about 4 friends in NY and their lives interwined with eachother. I dont want to say too much because its almost indescribable but read it. You wont regret it.

The Father

Dani and me went to see the french play The father here in London. It was really, really good. And moving. About a man with alzheimers and his struggles. Sounds more depressing that it actually was, it had me laughing out loud on a number of occasion without losing the underlying tone of sadness.

Go see London people.

Master of Sex

This series is a master piece. Like Mad Men but naughtier. About the sex pioneers in modern studies on human sexuality. It got strong women, awesome clothes and well, loads of sex. Better than your average ‘got nothing better to do on a Sunday so netflix and chill’ series. Can highly recommend.

American Anthems

This music list from Sanna. Very happy Wednesday feeling. 

A sofa or a queen – the art of being perfect

Here are some more pictures from the wedding and you can actually properly see my dress and take the decision for yourself – did i look like a sofa or a queen?

On a bus. With champagne. And gorgeous people. Make tuesday want to go and hide.

Stealing someone elses boyfriend to pose with. Sorry Eva. And sorry Dad, I know you just want me to meet some well dressed man to take me off your hands. So far not so good.

Im a bit taken by my perfection in this picture (humble much). Im never, ever looking perfect. I dont do that stuff. I look cool. Or just a bit ratty. Here i look so…sweet and like i could be an ostermalms lady (filters ftw). I blame the champagne and the beautiful people and my borrowed boyfriend.

Better go straight back to normal me.

What a group of well dressed (queen or sofa?), grown up, gorgeous people. This was before Boten Anna happened.

Eeeeh queen! In this picture we ALL look so damn perfect. Only swedes. I dont know how an entire country got bred into such ‘not a hair out of the way’ country mum greateness. Damn, we even rival the americans (im not sure how to feel about this –  me and perfect dont mingle)

Ha! So much great in this picture. And a very happy groom.

Emma rocking the wet floor signs. As you do. Im sure they put them out there for us to play with. Very considerate.

My wedding description. You could say my brand is pretty consistent. Is it ok to be a little bit in love with yourself when you read about yourself? I dont care, i am. And to answer your question – i am a gogo dancing unicorn. Why have to choose when you can be both. Yes.

And it was a yes this time too

Wedding times this weekend. Malin and Hjalle tying the knot here in London. Friday was drinks in Parsons Green and then dinner with the crew. I ran into Pettan and was a bad dinner date but a very good smoking friend to Peter. I excuse myself with the fact that i havent seen him in years.

Saturday morning took my longest ever getting ready i think. No dog and up at 8 i painted my nails, did my hair and even moisturized. Shocker. I loved my dress. I bit like walking around in sofa fabric but extremly cool sofa fabric. You can also both spill and drink in it. Its like it was designed for me.

Excited in the cab on my way to a pre lunch. Eating is definitely not cheating if you are planning a 20h drink marathon.

Lunch was fun. Party music and dance.That was goes when you put 8 old lunda students in a room and give them alcohol.

Wedding ready.

And they did it. So happy.

Loved Malins dress. So simple and beautiful.

After the ceremony it was a bus to liverpool street area with champagne and eric being a tour guide.

Once there more drinks, food and meeting up and saying hi to all these people i havent seen in ages. So. Much. Fun.

Sat on the same table as these dress twins. The dinner was perfect – nice food and only 8 speeches so over early. Then started dancing. Live band and DJ. Everyone danced like there was no tomorrow. You can say one thing for their friends, they are all swedes of the best caliber loving their drinks and dancing.

Yup, me too. Had an amazing night and twirled around in my dress.

Also feeling very gangsta with Lollo. Gansta and ganska lurig. That is what 2 o clock should feel like always.

Ha, not the only one in a good mood. I dont always love swedes but i do love their ability to always rock a party.

When wedding was over I definitely wasnt so went with some of the crew to Ramusake for another couple of hurs dancing and then to Danis to close the party at 8.

I did have a moment when i was standing in fron of the mirror asking myself how the fuck i do it. I didnt get an answer.

Yesterday lunch Maggie and then DIE on the sofa. Very happy parents are here next weekend to take it easy. Well needed.

Rescue angels and dreamy videos

Oh, the last post was so depressing. Its Friday, the sun is shining and im actually really happy today. So i decided to write about happy things instead. Things that make me smile and love this wonderfully weird life.

– Jules is picking up a little rescue angel today. A new family member that she will take to the country house and shower with love all weekend. I am so happy for this little dream coming to Lulle that will love her endlessly. 

Sandra have her readers telling stories about their best summer memories. This one ❤

 – My sister. I love her. Even more since she got whatsapp. Because i also love whatsapp. Its an epic combination. Like licqourice and salt. Or jager and red bull.

– This art project about british people’s secret confession. Make my heart break but also feel like im not alone.

– Olivers video is on Nowness. Amazing! He did an amazing job with this one. Proud of him and all his hard work.

Finally, my favourite song right now: Holes in the sky

An army of broken hearts and aching souls

Its funny how my week follows the same cycle. Weary and low on serotonin in the beginning and then ive charged my brain levels and im happy and ready to take on life at the end of the week. I know it now so i can balance it. Well, I still think the world will end every Monday and seriously consider going hermit and move into the forest and EVERY Friday I feel like king of the world.

The whole serotonin inbalance thing is a bitch. Or inbalance, more sensitivity. I just cant deal with it very well. I retreat into my dark place. Its always been like that, even before alcohol, even if drinking make the ups and downs more crazy. My poor parents had no idea what to do about me as a kid when i sat in my room staring into the wall listening to sad music for weeks. My teachers desperately tried to keep my performance levels up but it was always the same – over performing and then BAM – nothing. Dark place. Energy levels 0.

The older you get you also get more tired. You’ve done this a couple of times and it doesnt get easier and you wonder why. Why keep fighting when you know you are on a roller coaster always heading for a down (always for an up as well but I only remembers that on Fridays)

And you try and summon up the will to change. And you do. But, in the end, this is who I am,. I can make my life better, the settings easier, but I will always have these up and downs. I can medicate them away but then I feel like less of me. Its life saving when you are depressed but when you are just living life it takes away some of the sparkle. And its hard to live without the sparkle even if it comes with the dark.

But you know what, I keep going. because I have to. Its kind of scary and sometimes i despair that if this is it how will it ever feel worth it. How will i ever trust myself to be a mum when im like this or in 10 years when im even more tired how will this go?

Who knows? This is my life so lets do the best of it. Its Friday so i put on some party music and live the king of the world feeling.


Drinks and tiny violins

Went for drinks last night. The grown up kind. Had to pick up the dog so no fault of my own that i was home by 9.

Lisa and me went to the London Cocktail club and hit their happy hour hard. This is a Butter bean with taste of ‘Hogwarts’. Sold. Unfortunately it tasted more of cough medicine but cheap booze is always cheap booze. Then we had two more before heading to a pub for some more drinks. Yup, grown up.

Picked up mini squid on the way and headed home for a late night dinner (yum) and some serious cuddles (woop). I then, slightly boozed up, contemplated life for a while with not the best outcome.

Lesson learned, dont lay alone on your bed in your early 30’s single after a couple of drinks and think about your life. There is NO winning that. Well, i guess there is some winning in the fact that you are actually out having drinks on a school night (wearing fab shoes i might add) instead of taking care of kid/watching TV/cooking for a family

To pick myself up I checked my Christmas app and there is only 79 more days to Christmas. Brap. That reminded me I need to start my excel spread sheet on gifts. Weirdly there is NO need in me for Christmas music yet. Tiny violin moments on the bed after drinking aside im having too much fun to dream about Christmas.

This morning i tried to take a depressed picture of my horrible hair do. Not happy about my hair at the moment. Its like Robert Wells and a fairy tale princess love child. No one wants that. Especially not this angry little goth kid.

Well, hair and me are off to meet Dani and Kirsten tonight and on Saturday it has to perform on the Tudor dreams. Power hand emoji.

What to do when you are sick – the complete list

Back at work after my last couple of bedridden days. Admit to feeling quite good about being back, nothing to make you crawl the walls as days in bed with nothing for company but yet another series on Netflix.

Things to do when you are home sick

– Laundry, sheet change, tidying. This tend to happen when you (me) are so BORED that even the things I skyr like pesten happen.

– Eat candy the boy squad living in your flat while you were sick left for the household. Feel a bit sick. Eat some more.

– Reach the end of the internet.

– Laugh like a crazy at funny pictutres from the end of internet, screen grab and send to ALL your friends.

– Watch multiple series on Netflix. Like Reign. Realise that your dress for the wedding that was bought to be Asian inspired is WAY better as a 16th century Tudor look

– Decide to go ALL IN on that Tudor look and start looking through the dress up box for hair jewellry/opulent necklaces/gigantic earrings/rejuvenating cream/a crown/that feather thing that was used to be an elf at the last Halloween party/wait, again, A CROWN

– Realise that you are still going to wedding and might upstage the bride if you are wearing A CROWN

– Dreaming away anyway because well, you can

– Realise that the Robert Wells hair do that happened at the hair dressers (again) will need some tough love to be made Tudoresque.

– Try some hair do’s in your PJs and start crying because a) your hair still looks like Robert Wells b) you look like shit with multiple pimples c) you have a cold and really should be sleeping d) you just really want a crown

– Get your ass together and get into work only to be greeted by this – the Lego Star Wars calendar that Sanna sent on Monday. Realise that your life is pretty damn brilliant even if you look like RW and cant go Tudor on life on a daily basis (mmm…crown).

– Become well again and then instantly plan to go out and get drunk.