Best of me (and you)

I know i promised you it was the last post but i have nothing to do and are bored so i thought id put up some of my best, and weirdest, convos with guys over the last couple of weeks. The best thing with tinder is that I get an out for my love of writing. And my love for being me…crazy and all.

And yeah, i realise why i might be single (dad, dont despair. Ill meet a normal guy one day but until then…too much fun)

This guy. Lets just say it broke the ice and then we never spoke again. But A for effort in not being like everyone else.

Amazing Jean. We had a late night convo when i was smashed and magic happened and we decided to be friends forever (until life and having too many plans for any new friends – we’ll find our ways back to each other one day ❤ )

You have to love a french guy for well, everything about them. They are so…french…

One of the biggest problems with going from tinder to whatsapp is that you have all of these guys with only their first name in your phone book. Chaos. Given that im speaking with 3 different Alessandros im going to have to come up with a new system for this.

Look at this – the first one. However – given that I dodged his date and didnt get back to him until he texted 2 days later I might have to exchange him for another one soon. Spring cleaning.

My latest french guy. You see my sneaky way of double checking the whole ‘are you drinking’ thing. Not falling for that again. Ever.

Next stop Lyon. 

Im seeing Jose on the 29th. At least this guy drinks (he calls jägers jaggers though which is both brilliant and kind of annoying. But we can work on that) and he sent me a pic of him licking a glass dragon. Love a guy who love a drgaon.

This one for good measure when having all of these convos with guys 😉


Merry Christmas and all that jazz

Leaving you with one last post before jumping on that jetplane and leaving for the motherland. Counting down the hours, only 5 more to go.

Ol gave me a Xmas gift yesterday. A light bulb. Mine is broken and have been since the arm (things break in 3 – arms, light bulbs, kitchen drawers). He started by saying ‘there is another gift so dont take the piss of me on the blog’ (sorry, but HAVE to) and continued with ‘I couldnt stand you not having light in your room, now you just have to screw it in’.

I wonder who i can find to do that for me?

I then stumbled into ANOTHER of these biking photographers. Couldnt even ask if he drinks. I know the answer (and swiped no before even checking).

(It might sound like i minded Ol not drinking, I didnt. (I did however recent the biking) but there is no need to go for exactly the same guy twice. They would only be a pale version anyway. Like when Rachel meets Russ in friends after breaking up with Ross)

Kix decided to help me on the way by suggesting some questions for me to ask before even agreeing to a date. I obviously need all the help i can get (and yeah – anyone who is looking for a book club for hiking books can get out of here)

Finally – Santa C3PO saying Merry Christmas and see you on the other side of embarassing amounts of christmas ham and saffron buns.

When Christmas is around the corner go kung fu on life

Jason and me went to the Xmas bash at Pimp Shuei yesterday. Because everyone need a kung fu themed dive bar where you get a high five and your favourite drink when you walk in. And lift you up into the air Christmas hugs when you leave. And weird convos about sparkly cum inbetween.

Jason and me had our last night out before Xmas. I gave him a truly epic SW Monopoly (self gifting  – hope to get to play soon. We cant drink before we are seeing the movie on the 2nd (so long left to go, i might cry) so this will be the perfect past time to get in the mood.)

and he gave me home made banana bread. It was moist. I think i won. But i do have a christmas gift problem. Normal people dont spring gifts on people like that. (Sis still havent recovered from last Xmas.)

Me and Chuck trying to figure things out. Looking equally smart. I blame the never ending spiced up GTs.

Beacuse yes. Was trying to convince Jason that im cool as a brother. But, since it was racist Monday he just made me look white. Thanks for that. One day he wont look at me with those prejudiced eyes against my streetness.

Had to pick up the woolmaster on the way home so left at 9. Probably for the best. I dont trust J for a second when it comes to stopping me from the last monday before xmas drinking.

This morning absolute epicness in the SW calendar. R2D2. With reindeer horns. That is how you get in the mood for Xmas people.

Hell yeah dragons

I went on another tinder date yesterday. With a guy calling himself Angel Raw. With dragons around his name.

Dragons…

I had high hopes he was either a stripper or just somewhat wonderfully weird. (I know mum and dad would have LOVED if he was a stripper)

We met in Clapham, he took me to a cool bar and he is this super cute italian guy. Who is also a sober photographer who loves biking

WTF! How can there possible be two out there in the world and HOW the fuck to I manage to meet both of them? When he asked me if I liked biking with the comment ‘you only have to try’ to my negative answer i wanted to cry.

On the plus side is that he is planning to buy himself a serval cat – a cat the size of Woolly looking like a mini leopard. That is some serious good weirdness there. 

But still, sober, so much for cute italian boys with dragons around their names.

The rest of the weekend was pretty slow going. On Friday i had a couple of drinks with work for my boss leaving drinks but headed home early because body just said no. I could literally hear my liver begging for mercy.

So i went home and forced cuddled my dog.

On Saturday i wriggled out of 3 different dates. When talking to dad he was like ‘3. But, you cant be seeing 3 guys at the same time. Is it like that speed dating’. Nope, its just the modern way of more is more.

And to be honest, not my thing, hence avoiding them.

All in all a good last weekend before shooting home for Christmas. Yes, ill have to live down the whole ‘oh, you are single’ and ‘when are you coming back to Sweden’ but at least ill have some energy for that shit this time around.

At the end of time

Can’t wait for holiday. Sweden. Family. Home. I’m tired. It’s been a long year. My world have been turned upside down and I’ve just gone for the ride. The arm still has 6 weeks before it’s actually healed which I, well, kind of decide to not think about.

I do what I always do when I’m single – never stop dancing. Find the loneliness hard. Surround myself with beautiful people. Make new friends, kiss sweet boys. Party girl. The boys that care about me ask when I will stop. They look at me with worried eyes and want to save me. They always have. But I smile back and don’t let them close. They can’t do anything, it’s all me.

I’m the only one who can decide to stop hiding behind the ones that are not right for me. To stop closing my heart down on countless dance floors.

 I know myself well by now. What I need to do to move forward. When Ol and me ended I knew it would take me at least a year. I knew I would cry and crush on boys, feel like the queen of the world and endless loneliness. That I would question why this restlessness made me leave when most stays. That I would know it was the right thing and wish I didn’t.

I need time to get there. I need dancing, crashing head first into a wall, euphoria and a bone deep weariness. I need sweet boys showing me who I am and where im supposed to go. I need the rollercoaster to wake up one day and be done with it.

But right now I need my childhood home, my parents, sleep and food.

Being todays bitch

So, yesterday happened. I wish it didnt. Or today. Or, maybe I wish today could just go back to bed and give up. Or that i could. Either way today is making me its bitch.

We had secret Santa at work. Having come out as a nerd with my SW calendar my gift was a given. And highly addictive. Find the wookie. Better than that Wally.

We then went for Xmas lunch with the team. I wore a hat. This is where things went wrong. Never wear a hat if you are planning not to go big (i mean, i was planning on going big. Just a pro tip).

After xmas lunch I met up w Jason and his new gf for predrinks before hip hop karaoke. Or pre jagers. Sexy body bags were discussed. And sex with chickens (Tommy, ill be in your debt forever for that story). Once in the line for hippedihopp karaoke we realised we would never get in. So we waited for an hour because Jason is very stubborn. VERY. I was strictly forbidden to discuss my racist ears or my country house in the line. Then Dave showed up, waited for about 10 min and then put an end to the waiting around. Thank you.

We could have gone home. We didnt. Instead we went to Roxy and Dave played catch up. He failed since i matched him shot for shot. Im nice like that. We danced and scream sang to Xmas songs. I smoked and Dave told me about his plans of bying a flat in Bangkok and tour Asia. I smoked some more and took another shot. Because traveling vs tubing in London.

Today very weak. Like a broken doll. Damn you red bull aka liquid cocaine.

Unicorn tears

Went to the doctors yesterday. My man Mr Dr and I discussed the fact that im healing nicely (woohoo), have about 4-6 weeks before im all there (less woohoo but still) and that im pretty bad ass for being able to almost straighten the elbow and put my hand over the head (double woohoo).

Take that ‘you are shit at healing’ body of mine, im rocking again.

W has got a new snazzy coat. Looking all suave for the dog ladies. Last night he put his head on the other pillow, but his little paw on my cheek and fell asleep like that. I thought. Every time i looked at him he just stared at me. Those eyes, never leaving me. Creep. Then he barked half the night at the foxes outside. W you little weirdo.

Spending the day at home yesterday because of doctor and other things i decided to wrap the gifts that are staying here in London. Love wrapping. I also went to the garden cafe with Oliver and bought myself a new mini cactus. Because cactuses are trendy and im way cool.

Then i got sent a link to the Best. Thing. Ever. This is an actual thing. Unicorn tears and gin – my 2 favourite things. If anyone want to give me a gift I wouldnt say no to this awesomeness. It even have silver in it. Dreamy.

Speaking of awesome things. Sister sent me these pictures today and reminded me that we see each other in about a week. A WEEK. Thats like no time at all (if you dont think about the star wars movie because i wont see that until the 2nd of Jan and that is KILLING me)

I leave you with this image of summer and sun and smiles. Me, im getting ready to bust some moves at hip hop karaoke tonight with Jason and Dave. They wont sing, I feel like i have to represent with my racist ears. See me rollin’