One year. And what a year.

I seriously danced this weekend. All in, glorious dancing. So very needed.

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On Friday met gamesys crew for oooaw party times. In sexy glasses of course.
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We got glow stick batons and ordered too many vodka red bulls.  Because good for you. And danced. 
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I was in my best place. With my friends, dancing and not thinking about anything except fun. Love that mindless place. 
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Lollo and Katta were also there 
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And I brought 10 balloons with me into the bathroom cubicle.
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After oooaw we went to 2 more clubs before I took the wise choice if ordering myself home.
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On Saturday it was Gs and my anniversary. I ate popcorn in bed while he slept.
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And got us pizza when he woke up. Relationship goals.
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Stayed in bed until 7 when I gathered mr super powers and crawled out of bed to head up to Found for anniversary shenanigans. 
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Everyone wanted to celebrate us with shots. And George got me my drinks in pint glasses. Good night.
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This guy ❤
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On Sunday I got pedicure and then G and me went to see fantastic mr fox in the lyric before dying in front of the tv.
Anniversaring well done. Now I just need to survive my bday party this weekend…

Off to go dancing at OOOAW tonight. I NEED a glitter rain. And easy listen pop music. And a vodka redbull. 

This has been an ass of a week and I’m happy to wave it goodbye. I didn’t even remember this is how it felt. Thank god this is not standard any longer. 
Katta is joining. And gamesys crew. And all my inner demons. We’ll have a blast. 
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Tomorrow it’s our anniversary so the plan is to go to Found and on Sunday we are going to the theatre and then dinner home in front of the projector. That my friends is utter luxury when you barely see each other. 
So London, see me and my demons rocking and rolling the city tonight. 

Acting my age

Less than two weeks until my bday. 35. Half way to 70. George says I keep going on about it but it just feels so…not old but…final. Like I’m a real grown up. I mean, at 35 you are. A real grown up.

And in the spirit of being grown up we went for drinks yesterday in Hackney. Because life needs to be lived.
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Waiting for tommy at Oslo hackney. Enjoying time with my man. Because he is one sexy dude. And he makes me laugh all the time.
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Second bar is a newly opened place in hackney called every cloud. They have awesome drinks. And cherries soaked in cognac. Because the bartender is a hero I got two. 
We stayed there for hours and drank one or two drinks too many. 
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Since I don’t get hangover any longer I can do this and still rock up at work being balling. 
Tonight aiming for a long walk with Katta. Don’t feel the sofa. Think I’ve become slightly sofa shaped in the last month.

When life is just plain shit

Seriously. Last day of January was shit. Yes, yesterday. What an ass of a day. For no other reason than me feeling generally shit about life. Which happens. So no biggie really.

But. It’s all based in the fact that I feel lonely. I barely see George and I spend a lot of time alone at home. When it’s dark and cold like shitty January it’s hard to bring W anywhere and since I have him 70% of the time and travel a lot I don’t have much time to go out and see friends and be spontaneous. 
Hence loads of just me on my own. Which at the best of times I’m not great at and even less so when I’m in love and simply miss him. 
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Yesterday it all became Too Much To Handle so my plan was go to bed at 8 (the best thing when you can’t life) and wake up to a better day. 
But then Katta came over and literally saved me. 
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Made us snacks and we talked about all the things that hurt. Because you need people and not be alone in your mind all the time. 
When George came home he was not in the best place either and it shows how much this is taking its toll on both of us. And even if I’m struggling with it all I know G is carrying even more stress than I am. So I end up wanting to save him from my sadness. 
And yes, I’ve been down this road before. I know i can’t save people and that I need to look after myself. But you can’t teach an old dog to sit right.
So let’s hope today is a better day. It can’t really be worse.