Sunny afternoon

Yesterday was another gorgeous day in London. From tomorrow it’ll go back to more normal spring weather but I’m living the shit out of this having breakfast in the garden in just a summer dress.

I snuck home in the afternoon to hang w my man. Finally got him to enjoy the outside.

Our flamingo has gotten a little friend wrapping himself around him. Feeling truly tropical.

A sun bed each. That is garden goals. George slept I worked. Good split.

Look at my smultron (wild strawberries). These babies will be delicious if we keep seeing some sun.

My garden is not looking too shabby. This is my jasmine and I’m also growing strawberries, courgettes, gladiolus and almost killing a peony.

After garden times I went to Katta’s for dinner with Ella and Madde. It was lovely and delicious and so nice and I took 0 photos because having too much of a good time.

Love my friends and love London.

Pina colada dreams

My thursday was all kinds of amazing. I got to run the playlist at work (90s and early 00’s gold), the team bought ice creams, i got to work outside in the office garden and i had a great chat with my boss. Like a really good chat that put some of my worries for the last couple of months to rest.

Basically he told me that he will do whats needed to keep me. And that my team is one of the happiest in the company and they are not touching it.

Fucking yes (sorry for the swearing but i kind of played the ‘ill leave card’ and it payed off and i can protect my team. To me that is a win all around)

Not looking as happy as i feel. But, sitting outside and thats pretty banging. And wearing a summer dress with bare legs. Its was 29 degrees yesterday. Probably the warmest day of the year.

After work met this guy for a picnic in Holland Park. Us and half of London. When George saw me he kind of knew i got good news, he said i had happy eyes again and didnt look like i was carrying the world on my shoulders.

So he told me about the stress hes been carrying as well. We always try and protect each other and end up bottling it up. But we drank ciders and talked about all the good and the bad over the last couple of weeks.

I love that i can talk about everything with this guy. And that he will see when im not there yet but wait me out until im ready. Ive never met anyone that gets me like that before. He truly is the best support i could ask for because he gets what i need. And he always makes me laugh.

I took artistic pictures of my favourite cider.

And had a little moment with corny. Not unhappy about the hairy chest on display. George dressing up for my enjoyment.

After a couple of hours in the park we headed to Trailer Happiness for their pina colada and Rasa.

But Rasa wasnt there. So we had to do with the drinks.

Yes please. Their pina coladas taste of heaven. I kid you not.

Me pretend listening to George and the bartender while taking selfies of myself looking like im not aware of the pic taken.

Yeah, im that guy.

George was cute with a tiki umbrella. He was also a bit tipsy from the drinks.

More artistic photos. Who needs professional photographers when you have me and an iphone?

Around 10 we headed home and i went straight for bed. George however was not taking well to whatever cream they used in the drinks and couldnt sleep all night.

Came in this morning to Red velvet cake pops from the amazing Pastry so Tasty. Seriously. My team is too good to me.

Perfect breakfast when you have a tiny pineapple hang over from last night.

Tonight having a drink with Ella west and then enjoying the shit out of the weather over the weekend. I have W all weekend so him and me will chill all over London. Pro chillers.

Book of Mormon

Summer! England skipped spring and went straight for 26 degrees. Not complaning. George and me are meeting for picnic in Holland Park tonight and then a couple of pina coladas at Trailer Happiness. Life!

Yesterdays summer outfit. Black as my soul. Got a little dusting of colour on my nose. Just a tiny hint though, im an ice queen from the north. Not like George who just have to see the sun to get a sexy tan.

Wore funky trousers. Felt very french riviera. Minus the meetings. They were part of my little shopping spree at HM. Spreading some pattern love.

Afternoon ice cream. A must when its more than 20 degrees out for the first time this year. I had forgotten the glorious feeling of sun on my face. Never leave me again. Also, how delicious isnt cornetto. I feel like im moving into old people ice cream taste. No more bubblegum calippo, the classics is the best.

After work George and me met up for pre theatre dinner. Ramen from Shoryo. And mojitos because sun. George showing his australian by wearing Christmas jumper in the 20 degree heat.

And then it was time for the days main event. Book of Mormon. Love that musical and George had the best time ever. Love to hear him laugh like that. Thank you Stu, Emma and Harry for getting this for our engagament.

Heres a video of me laughing in the form of a pig. Its an animjo. An animated emoji. Look at me keeping up with the kids. Also hilarious.

A sad day

Dealing with some sad news this morning. You know when I was all upset on thursday and got drunk at Found. Well, partly because my boss tried to do some changes in the organisation that would have sucked for me and the team (told him ill walk out in that case) but mostly because Stevie is leaving the company.

Stevie, my right hand man, who has been with me through this journey. He sat next to me in the beginning dealing with the french, the failing systems and being generally hated but he also built an amazing team with me and have helped us get to where we are today.

He will be missed. Like Sita says ‘CRM mum and dad are getting divorced.’

Some sad faces this morning. Sita actually started crying. Im fearing a bit for the team. We have it tough enough as it is and Stevie has been the glue. Ill do my best to keep them happy but there is so much else on my plate.

On the other hand, great opportunities for growth in the team. And change is needed.

Met George for lunch yesterday. Needed a break from the office and this hot guy treated me to Laksa at Street Eats.

Brothy goodness. He was working in the evening so nice to spend some time together. I know ive been doing a lot of sofa time lately so nice to get out and see some people. Or like George said ‘in the beginning when you were still trying to impress me and went out and partied to late’

Lets just say 2 more years and hell of a lot more stressful a job have made the 6am home time almost impossible.

Me and my new phone are having an awesome time together. Everything looks pretty.

After lunch i went to HM. Was looking for summer shoes but i caved and bought way too much stuff. Ill return some today. Im being fairly good on my shopping (dont look at me like that Katta, im way under budget this month) but it was totally therapeutic yesterday. Thats the dangerous kind.

George sent me bored pics from Found. I was aiming to sit out in the garden for dinner but it got really windy so opted to stay inside instead. Lazy ass on the sofa.

Found my doggo stealing food from my plate. Naughty. So he got to sleep on the other side of the sofa. He know he did bad hence the rolled up, look how small and cute i am, look. Aint fooling me.

Tonight going to see Book of Mormon with George. Gift from Harry, Emma and Stu. Exactly what i need on a sunny day like today.

A depressing read (sorry)

Apparently signs of stress related burn out is very vivid nightmares, low immune system, trouble sleeping and a need to pull away from social situations as well as an encompassing tiredness.

Basically me for the last 4 months.

I think its very early days and its weirdly alike my depression. However, depression is followed by emotional fatigue and im not having that at all. I care about things, im just so tired all the time. Like completely crashing tired. And i feeling like i cant do anything to change it.

I know work have been stressful. The not knowing whats going on or being able to protect my team is draining. I have no problem with having loads to do but the politics at work is really not easy on me. My dreams are a constant battle, a never ending feeling of fighting and failing.

I also feel guilty for being so tired all the time. I want to be fun and out and be me. I guess that adds to the stress.

Im glad summer is coming. I hope that will give me a much needed break. Im also going to try and find ways of relaxing. I know shit is bad when my resting heart rate is up at 64 rather than my nornal 54.

Taking walks during the afternoon is one way. I do this pretty much every day. Leave the office for 30 min and walk around. It feels necessary at the moment.

Pottering around in my garden also helps calming my mind. Its easy and something i can control and see grow. Results and control. Every stressed out persons dream. Plus its my little haven out there.

Accepting the fact that this is how it is at the moment and stop fighting it. I feel so bad about being weak and tired but that is not helping. Instead i’ll focus on things that gives me energy and accept that this is me right now. It wont be me always but right now im generally low on energy.

Finally take a page out of Woollys book. Sleeping on the sofa. I even tense when i sleep at the moment. Wake up with a strain i my back and pain in my teeth from grinding them so hard. More relaxed Woolly sleeping is needed.

Along the canal

Lucky you! Two posts in one day. Sometimes the world is just a magical place.

Before i show you all the pictures from our awesome, and very wet, walk we did yesterday i will tell you about the state of angst ridden shame i am in today.

So, i dreamt that my boss wanted to have sex with me last night and he took off all his clothes and had this weird worm body with a little pot belly. I refused and he started crying. Naked. On the floor.

And now i cant see anything else when i look at him.

For reals, im ashamed on his behalf. You know when you are stuck with that dream feeling all day. Urgh (also, lets not think about what Freud would say about this. Given how i last week kind of felt like i was being royally fucked by my company maybe not so far fetched. At least dream me was like No way, jose)

Anyway, back to nature and innocence.

Yesterday Georges bulgarian friends Petko and Dessie (i have no idea about the spelling but something like that) took us out in the wild outdoors. They picked us up with the car and drove about 30 min south of London.

We followed the canal on a somewhat grey but still very nice day. I love nature. Needed this badly. Slept like a baby last night (minus weird sex dreams. And G snoring. Had to flee to the extra sofa)

This is a very old tree.

And here are some swans. W was very interested but they just hissed at him. Being a lil weakling he ran away.

Cool gang. George representing the Londoner far out of his depth in the mud.

We saw a cow just chilling in the mud. W barked a bit at her too. She couldnt care less.

Food pit stop. Tea and biscuit. The crew being very prepared. Then we had picnic lunch in the rain. Like proper rain. Reminded me of the scouts as a kid. Not sure im missing it that much. Delicious bulgarian treats though.

After 3h walking (mostly pretty wet) we found a pub. The happiness on Georges and Woollys faces were heartbreaking.

Then gearing up for more walking. Even i was pretty over it by the end. That wet, cold never getting warm again feeling.

But i found some forget me nots by the road and picked them for my dad. They always bloomed around his bday when i was a kid and i remember picking them for him so it always reminds me of family and love. And what a perfect name when you live in another country.

My own little London family. Wet and tired but happy. You can see the ring George made for himself to match my engagement ring. Since mine is the heart of a tree his is made the resemble wood. Always the romantic dreamer my man.

Bella and Alex getting hitched

Its supposed to be up to 26 degrees this week. Dreaming about being able to work from home one of the days but think itll be impossible. Oh well, dinners in the garden.

Woolly and me Saturday morning. King Woolly. Yet another bed for that little hero.

We were off for Bella and Alexs wedding (Bella is a friend of Georges from Sydney) and after realizing that we had exactly 20 minutes to get ready smashed our outfits.

Shameless sun selfie on the tube. Good thing about owning every dress in the world is that getting ready for a wedding in 20 minutes is no biggie.

Swag. Coolest cats in town. George and me now both have this is our FB profile pic. Yeah, we are that couple. Deal with it.

George, Bella and Bella’s mum. Love the skirt. Such a lovely bride and George unwittingly matching the bride.

The bride and groom waiting to go in. We were at Hackney town hall. Lovely building. Love how happy the both look.

Court room selfie. My hair being an absolute mane. Maybe time for a trim.

Tried to take a selfie of the two of us. Got this from George. Love you too babe.

Husband and wife <3.

Jo was the bridesmaid. I did an ever lasting impression by accidently knocking her champagne glass all over her when we got to the reception. Cant take me anywhere.

What a man i have. Cant wait to make him my husband. But it will have to wait, at least for a bit. Until then i dream of all the glowsticks ill get for our wedding party.

Delicious wedding cake. Ill dream of that today when im eating healthy salmon and salad.

After a lovely day in a sun drenched garden with a buffet filled with food it was time for husband and wife to dance the first dance. What a happy, sweet day for the two of them. So glad to see them this much in love and being so right for each other.

Around 9 we headed to Found for a drink before crashing at home before midnight. Long day but more than that, loooong week for both of us. Im aiming for this week to be a lazy, sunny one.