A finedrinking experience

George and me decided we needed people and drinks and food last night so what better than heading up to Resident on Paradise Row to finally try Liam’s new drink menu.

He’s basically basing his cocktails on food so the drinks menu is built up like a dinner menu starting with oysters and champagne and ending with carrot cake and espresso martini.

Yes, they were all delicious.

First one I had was a lovely apple and pea

And George did the oysters and champagne. Yes I had a sip and I’ve never wanted to be able to drink champagne that bad.

This hot guy serving me an Eton Mess. Just keep them coming.

The carrot cake might have been my favourite. Or one of my favourites. Honestly, loved them all.

Needed this night out with my man. Too much stress over the last couple of days.

Ending with a coffee. Tasted like melted coffee ice cream.

Liam, you and your menu is all kinds of awesome.

Then we headed to home for some verditas and late night sing along with the crew.

Totally the night we both needed. Never forget to have fun and laugh with the people that matter the most. Fact.

Today ‘working’ from home. Good thing it’s still dead at work….

Like a broken phone

So, im still waiting for my appointment with my GP to get my prozac prescription re issued. Not sure what happened but ive been without for about a month now.

For any of you who have ever needed anti depressants you know what that means. How unstable your mind feels when you dont have something to stabilize it. How your skin feels thin like paper and you blood rushes. How the fear of spiraling makes you…spiral.

With that said im actually ok. As in, im not at all at the bottom. See it as a phone battery slowly draining of life. Im still half full but need a charge soon. But, im also a bit like one of those iffy phones that start acting up when your battery is only half full.

Started crying to my chinese high school series yesterday. Because love and feels and all that. That turned into an ugly cry on the sofa because life is not as easy as high school drama. Poor W hid in another room. When i was done he put a little snout in my lap. Dogs for life.

Ha, this is me mentioning to George that ive written something on my blog and his mum calling at the same time. He totally thought she called to ask about it :). But she just wanted to speak to her awesome son.

Made chocolate balls yesterday. Half and half. Still pearl sugar in my heart though. Coconut just doesnt taste of my childhood the same way.

Also did a face mask. Working on that glow. I have quite a lot of friends starting to do botox. Getting rid of the wrinkles and looking younger. I know thats the sign of the times. Its kind of the mark of money and class these days to pay not to age. Not talking the kardashian way but generally. Most successful women make sure the hide the signs of ageing in a graceful way.

But i cant help loving my wrinkles. The 5 year old girl in me that loved my dads wrinkly forehead because it made her laugh wants that. Plus i also just cant. I dont like the thought of taking the decisions to alter myself for vanity. But hey, that might change. Im definitely fighting a losing battle against my greying hair.

Bought a new jacket for W. Its a bit big on him. Hes such a little skinny one.

Perfect set up. Grilled bagel, chocolate balls and Meteor Garden. I had to write Julia and tell her NOT to watch it halfway through because its so culturally frustrating sometimes. Its all about not going against the family, they still have arranged marriages, girls being cute and weak and liking sweet things and boys being tough and mean.

To be able to watch it i have to remind myself its not my culture and to be open minded to how others do it.

A day in Richmond

One of the things I feel like me soul is literally screaming for this summer is nature. Since ive barely been on holiday ive been more or less been chilling out in the asphalt jungle for the last couple of months when everyone else have been posting pictures from beaches and sea.

So, it was time for the closest to nature you can get without leaving London – Richmond.

As soon as Katta and me entered the park we went straight for the blackberry bushes. They were ripe and filled with berries, a bit of a mission to pick the ones that hadnt been taken by other wanderers but no ones discourages a swede.

Happy blackberry face.

Katta is a pro. This girl is born to walk around in nature. We decided to go on a hiking trip this fall. Ill leave W and G at home and enter the wild with this one.

Richmond looked like some beautiful savanna like landscape. Ive never seen it this yellow and green at the same time.

I love getting lost here. Could walk around for days.

Woolly was in heaven as well. He just ran around like a crazy. If dogs could smile he would be. Ive never seen him channeling a labrador as much.

For lunch we met with Linnea and Lollo at Petersham. I know keep raving about it but this place is just so calm and beautiful. Plus the food is delicious.

More walking because definitely not ready to go back into town.

Lollo is looking at doing an exercise and mindfulness retreat later this year. Sign me up. Need some more of that in my life. This autumn is going to be all about the things i love like nature and books and friends.

We decided to start a bookclub. Meet once an month and discuss books. Take turns recommending or choosing something. Love this.

Woolly feels like a king when he get to hang with the ladies.

I think i killed him though. He slept for like two days after our 4h walk.

So yeah, Bookclub Babes are now a thing. Its me, Katta, Lollo, Linnea and Lily. We have two open spots for any readers out there.

But because books is not all i spent my weekend binge watching this chinese high school drama. Its all anime esqu and super cheesy but i cant stop watching. cant really recommend it to people that dont do anime because its kind of weird for people that are used to american TV. Like Bollywood. But i love it.

A bulgarian feast

Monday. Only 18 days until holiday. Cant. Wait. Like seriously, i need this holiday. There is something to the three weeks you get encouraged to take in Sweden. At least when you havent had anything but two long weekends in Sweden more than two months ago (yes, hear my tiny, tiny violin)

Had a quiet weekend, George was away so mostly spent it with my girls. On Friday Katta and me were invited for dinner at Ellas. She had made banitza. George favourite bulgarian food. Poor dude was beyond jealous.

Plus all the other delicious Ella things. Quinoa salad, roasted sweet potatoes, shrimps and lamb kofte.

Lamb kofte and one of my favourite girls.

(Sorry Ella for this pic, you are a beauty really but this is not your best angle…)

We drank wine (yes, GT) and Ella told us about her new bf. Colour me curious. I love when my friends meet someone because a) they are so damn happy and b) i love meeting new people that will become important in my life.

Ellas sister Julie and her husband came as well. The sisters were unintentionally matching. Dont know why i find this so cute but i really do. Even down to the phone covers.

Ella and Loli. Woolly as hiding upstairs, he just cant take all the love Lola showers him with.

We also spoke about the whole baby making thing. Ella recommended some natural medication that had helped her friends so now im going to try Vitex. Its basically a natural herb that stimulates your hormones and helps regulates your period (and mood, need that!). My period is very irregular (26-46 days) which makes it harder to conceive and this is supposed to help this. Plus no side effects so why not try.

Im also taking follic acid after recommendation from the doctor. Thought that was only when you are pregnant but its apparently good when you are trying as well. Whatever the doctors tell me to do im all over that shit. Following orders like a boos. Last thing will be to book in an accupuncture appointment. Ive always wanted to try, who doesnt want to be full of needles?

Look at me trying all this natural stuff. Dont worry, ive done my research and its all proven to help some people. And who knows, i might be some people.

Retail therapy

Ive been pretty good at not spending too much over this quite slow and warm summer so i decided that i deserved a little treat (what really happened was that i lay awake last night, alone since george is away, and feeling a bit low and decided to check out the Outnet…at 2 am. And the rest is history.)

Anyways, i ended up buying some things that will make absolutely no difference to my life but makes me feel a little bit better because pretty things (and yes, i know that is not the way to think and its bad for the planet but sometimes you just need easy and simple and pretty)

Leather tote bag. My old bag from the outnet is quite heavy for the summer months when its filled up with stuff so hoping this will be a good alternative. Plus sexy.

And this dress was just too cute. This, leather jacket, knee high boots and my new tote bag for autumn and i will feel like a million dollars. And, most women know that sometimes you can fight the worst of the bad days but looking great.

Went home after lunch yesterday. Had The Best Sandwich. Sesame bagel with brussel pate and cornichons. Sexy photo as well. You can tell i dated a photographer for 4 years.

You and me W, you and me.

Look, London had gone green again. A couple of days rain and the parks are blooming again. W and me loved it and ran around like kids. Both of us.

Naaaaw. Such a cute little face.

Tonight off to dinner with Ella and Katta and tomorrow we are hitting up Richmond. Doing all the out of London stuff when George is away.

Also planning a work trip to NYC in October. There are two conferences going down and im planning to try and fit them both in. Same week as Danis wedding though so will be globetrotting the shit out of my life.

The darkness in my mind

Im sorry to those of you that are not that interested in hearing about my, somewhat depressing, baby journey. Its just all I think of at the moment and since this is my space i find it really hard to fake it. Good thing about not really having readers you dont know is that i can let it be my space, to be as happy or sad as i am.

Got the follow up appointment from the doctor. At the end of October. So not 6 weeks but almost 11. Thats just feels…too long. I had prepared myself to let it go for 6 weeks and now im struggling. I know its NHS and its all free and I should be happy that im getting help at all and that it hasnt been that long…

I know all of that but my mind has its own mind (yeah, just wrote that) and this is my world where well, im the most important there is (sorry G&W). And its not helping that ive run out of prozac, had to go cold turkey and cant get hold of the GP for an appointment for another two weeks. I need that on a good day and being in the middle of this isnt really what i would call a good day.

Also, the thing is struggle with the most is how hard it sometimes is to be happy for others around me. Especially the ones that are pregnant right now. I kind of just want to live in a pregnant free world for a while. Anyone willing to provide that? Maybe i should hide on a deserted island. Go all Robinson on my life.

So again, sorry for being so negative and sad about it. I actually try and be more postive in real life. So this is kind of where i let it all out. The frustration and fear and sadness. Because its there, like a little ball of dark curled up in my mind at all times. Triggered by the smallest things and making me quite unstable.

This picture ha nothing to do with the text. It was just me starving yesterday eating everything. As you do.

George is in Finland at the moment so me and Woolly have the flat to ourselves. We will eat bagels for dinner and read stupid YA books about fairies. Winning.

Old friends in new places

I went to an interview yesterday. Im not really looking but if something interesting shows up i always go see them, if nothing else to keep my interviewing skills relevant. Gotta sell yourself.

She asked me what i wanted to do next in my career and i didnt really have a good answer. Most recruiters i talked to over the last year is looking for someone hungry who can go in and properly drive growth in smaller businesses. The problem for me is that given hopes for family that isnt really what i want for the coming years. I want peace and quiet and busy-ish.

Dont get me wrong, im happy at work and the recent funding indicates that ill be able to stay here for a while but im also aware that it will be a next step and at the moment i have NO idea what that is.

Looked sharp for my interiew. Or like an innocent victorian lady. Take your pick.

Very fancy recruiter firm. Chilled by myself drinking tea before. Good times. Then i got lost in my passion for changing the world for women and making my teams happy and im not sure thats what this company was looking for.

Well, if they dont want me i dont want them. Like dating. Go with the one you can see a future with.

In the evening i met up with Robin and Stan as well as George, Liam and Maria for drinks and food. We sent an angry photo to Eric complaining about him not being there. Not that we invited him.

Two bulgarians and a swede. We had dinner at a newly opened restaurant up East called Saint Leonard. It was…not good. I mean, the food was alright but the service was shit and ive had better executed food for that price so overall would not recommend.

But we were pretty happy anyway.

Boys doing boys thing together. But to be honest, we mostly spoke about how much we’ve all grown and settled down since that first year at Ifield Rd. Kind of sad but mostly needed. You cant be constantly partying forever.

After dinner Robin and Stan did the tuesday thing and went home. Me, not having drunk all weekend, decided that yes, i need at least 2 more drinks so we headed to Found. Totally the right decision.

And, the good thing about not smoking is that you feel about half as hungover when you wake up. So aceing it today.