And finally came New Years Eve. Time to let go off 2018 and welcome 2019. Its with mixed feelings I look back at 2018. Some of the absolute highs and lows. Getting engaged and feeling happier than ever before knowing that i found the man i want to live with. Then laying in bed together on a late night in February deciding that we want to try for kids. The giddiness i felt when George suggested it and the happy strength that we would ace this. We would make great parents.
We voiced our hope that by next Christmas we would be pregnant with a little baby.
We all know thats not exactly how is turned out which is why 2018 turned out to be trickier than we had hoped. But, thats where 2019 comes in. Time for new hope of a little baby by Christmas 2019. And if not, well, im sure it will all work out.
I decided to post about it on instagram. Even if i have spoken openly about it here few people read my blog compared to who sees instagram. It was not easy to let everyone know about the things we go through but at the same time, one of the things i myself have found hardest is that people only talk about a journey like this is when they are on the other side. When they are pregnant. Not when they are still fighting.
And it would help me to actually hear from someone else that are in it, not out if it. To feel conneced. To not only hear the sunshine stories. Because this takes times and 1 year down the line knowing that there are months, of not years, still to go, it feels like im fighting this alone for a very long time.
Anyways, to new years. We took a walk in the morning loving the views of Ireland. It really is pretty here.
Boys and dog enjoying the forest.
On top of the world!
I started raving about buying a house here as i do every time im in nature dreaming of getting away from the big city.
Did a very fitting face mask for the festivities.
And then dressed up in sparkle trousers and red lips.
Lets kick 2018 out in style. I wanted a party fitting to leave all of this behind.
Ready to rock and rumble this shit.
We went to a pub where the dublin crew had a table.
Its like 20 of them and everyone was dressed up and ready to party.
One of the lads girlfriend had glitter with her and gave everyone face make up. My soulmate.
Then drinking stupidity ensued.
More of that because why not. We drank picklebacks, tequilas, jagerbombs and loads of GTs.
Kissing with my man because whatever not he is the fucking hero to my sadness. The one that keeps at bay and make all of this worth it.
After the pub we went to a house party where i went full BM on the night. Didnt stay awake long though since i passed out around 2. Good effort.
The crew took me home and we had some food before i put myself to bed when the other stayed up to early morning. Good for them, i was done with 2018 and not yet ready to fully embrace 2019.