Hello there fairyland

Crazy to think we are already half way through January. Spring, here we come. Well, at the moment its still freezing and dark but i can tell that its getting a little bit lighter every evening. After this summer i thought id never dream of warmth again but i am. At least a life without massive scarves and hats.

My computer at work. The most unproffessional place in the office :). But it makes me happy. And in no way affect my way of working. If men can have golf clubs and whiskey in their offices i can have fairylights and unicorns on my desk.

Yes, here is a little tour of all the happy things i surround myself with. Deal with it. Also, love that we have a GOT count down on our white board. That is some serious shit right there.

My colleague Riad gave me a lip balm yesterday. So sweet. We went for lunch last week and my lip started bleeding half way though and wouldnt stop. To the point that i was talking to him mouth full of blood (sorry) so he felt i needed this. True.

George is in Bristol working so W and me had the bed to ourselves. I wanted to sleep, he wanted to play.

He won. Because he is so cute so i couldnt say no.

Then i watched anime and decided to shut down my brain for the evening. Every little setback feels hard to deal with at the moment. Things that would be a breeze makes me stress.

Things that run in circles in my head at the moment:

  • Surgery. Injections. Hormones.
  • What if there wont be a baby. How many tries do we do? How much money do we need to save?
  • Work. When do i tell them. Do i tell them?
  • And they might want to give me another team. Do i say yes? No? But what if things dont work. Then i want something to focus on.
  • Sydney. Do we go? Or not?
  • Should we get a new place. Buy something? Place now is not baby friendly.
  • I might not even be able to be there for Sannas hen do. It makes me sad.
  • If it works do we even stay in London? How long can i be on maternity leave. We need my salary and…

Ok, i need to stop now. Future is a blur. One thing at a time. Right now my head only has room for the absolute acute things. Hence anime. My perfect place when the world is too much.

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