I feel like i live in some Kafkaesque back and forth and never ending bureacracy in this baby journey.
We had our meeting today. With a councellor. It was great in terms of us discussing the fears and worries and for her to introduce herself if we need her. We can call on her when it all becomes too much and i have a feeling that will be soon.
Because we didnt get any more answers on treatment and start date etc. We still need to wait for the doctor to call and then book a coordination meeting before we can book our treatment and then i need to wait for my period. So given timelines and how long getting appointments tend to take we will go to Sydney and hopefully we can start when we are back. That will only set us back max a month and we get our holiday and rest (as much rest as you get when you are visiting people) before everything kicks off. And then we hope for the best.
Hopefully itll be a little Christmas baby given the timelines. I will suck as Sannas bridesmaid though.
So pretty in the park this morning. Freezing but pretty.
W and me had a great old time while George was too snoozy to make it up. Its fine, my morning walks help my brain at the moment.
Look at this sky on fire.
This is how it is sometimes. You feel Sad and Scared and Little and Alone and definitely Not much fun to be around but thats just what it is.
Im considering what to do about my bday. I dont want to party and get drunk and stuff, to be honest i dont want much of anything. But maybe it would be good to do something fun, to see friends. I dont know. I just feel like Eeyore, like i want to sit by myself at home and mope.