Pills and frosty grass

Feeling pretty good for the last couple of days. Accepted the fact that we wont start anything until we are back from Sydney and decided to enjoy the time until then instead. Next Friday is George last shift at Found and im coming back to drinking with a couple of delicious ones from my fiancee with my wingwoman Katta at my side. Tonight im seeing Lollo for dinner in town and hopefully seeing Kix for lunch tomorrow. See me enjoy the shit out of life.

George and i are in a good place. Its easier on both of us when we know whats going down and hes got this amazing ability to make me relax. So yeah, things are pretty decent at the moment.

Stocked up on vitamins. Not that i think that it works but hoping for placebo if nothing else. But maybe you need to believe it for placebo to work? Oh well, it cant hurt. Going to make this body into a temple.

Made dinner last night. Here we sit with our lapdogs like an old couple. But i guess Georges is a lapstag. Either way it was yummy. Pasta for the cold months.

By the way, did i tell you that my parents gave Sandra a lapdog two Christmasses in a row? Poor girl kept a good face unpacking in this year. Again. So now she and my bro have three. Necessary…

So cold this morning! Its been a proper cold snap and everyone in the office is sick. Im hoping my placebo pills will keep me fresh. Plus i had a big one before Christmas, no room for more sick right now.

Hello there beautiful park i visit at least 7 times a week. You and me ravenscourt…

GIF it up!

Georges phone makes GIFs automatically if he takes a couple of photos in one go so here are a couple from the last weeks. Mostly of me. Because im awesome! Or just around all of the time.

Me and Woolly on the tube. Yes, i love that little monster with all my heart.

Dressing the tree at Christmas. Its a very happy smile on that face.

Dinner in Dublin. Wearing my Zelda hairthing. Should find reasons to wear it more often.

Post Christmas party awesomness. Love me some night food and sexy winking.

Cheers! Daddy and me got the snaps cheersing down!

Happy New years kisses!


Yep, going Kate again

It snowed in London yesterday. But not really around here. It was mostly wet. So i feel like i missed it. But thats ok since i had the best snowiest Christmas. Dreaming of sun more now. Only 37 days until we go to Sydney.

In the days of Marie Kondo and everyone throwing away things and tidying up im less for the tidying up but i really want to try and shop less this year. And clear out my wardrobe a bit. My goal is to buy not more than 2 pieces of clothing every month. I was going to say 1 but i dont think that will work. So lets aim for the tree tops rather than the stars.

My flowers are blooming at work. Making a little fairytale land. Which everyone else is falling in love with as well. Ha, spreading my love for flowers, fairylights and unicorns.

Went to the hairdresser. Finally time for princess hair and a much needed colouring.

So, ive gotten quite a lot of grey hairs this year and ive really struggled with that. I have no problems at all with wrinkles or cellulites or other signs of getting older but i really found the grey hairs tricky. Much more than i ever thought. And given that its like the easiest way of dealing with signs of aging i thought why not to colouring it.

So here we are. Colouring my hair for the first time since i was 20. I used inoa colouring that is ammonia free and good for the hair. I wanted it to be as close to my colour as possible.

Tada…princess hair. As you can see the colour is very close to my hair so you cant really tell the difference.

Except for it being super shiny. Like rich girl hair. Makes me look even posher. People always ask me why i dont make my hair look like this every day. Its because it makes me look like a sloany pony. Im already struggling with that and my street factor goes down to like -100 with these bouncy locks and i dont have much to start with.

Here you can see the colour. And zero grey hairs. Feeling fresh and happy with the colour even if its weird that its not quite my hair.

Put my Xmas gift from George in a frame last night. There i am looking bad ass with my trusted wing man Woolly the lurcher by my side.

Still there. Still princess hair this morning. All the coats and hats and scarves this morning since its freezing out.

Woolly hat for Woolly

Landed a bit after the meeting yesterday. Im always rolling after a counceling session. Memories man.

Anyways, as i said, we are aiming to go to Sydney for the original dates and then start when we are back. Gives us a chance to chill out for two weeks and come back rested heart and soul. Or something. To be honest, nothing has really changed in our plans since Christmas but i was taken on an emotional rollercoaster with potential changes so just need to settle back into the plans.

Yes, i need stability and plans and straight answers when shit like this go down.

What felt reassuring was that the councelor was very supportive of us and seemed happy for the help and support we give eachother. Also amazing that she is there if we need her.

Worked from home in the afternoon and then George and me watched Sex Education. Hilarious. And was not prepared to Mikael Persbrandt show up…

Dressed Woolly in my hat. He is just too cute isnt he.

Relaxing week. No money january and still feeling the anti social. Hoping to head to Richmond with Katta over the weekend and George is off to Scotland thurs-fri so quiet times at home. Kix is in London as well so crossing my fingers to see her but also want to give her all the romantic times with her gf.

Burning sky and never ending appointments

I feel like i live in some Kafkaesque back and forth and never ending bureacracy in this baby journey.

We had our meeting today. With a councellor. It was great in terms of us discussing the fears and worries and for her to introduce herself if we need her. We can call on her when it all becomes too much and i have a feeling that will be soon.

Because we didnt get any more answers on treatment and start date etc. We still need to wait for the doctor to call and then book a coordination meeting before we can book our treatment and then i need to wait for my period. So given timelines and how long getting appointments tend to take we will go to Sydney and hopefully we can start when we are back. That will only set us back max a month and we get our holiday and rest (as much rest as you get when you are visiting people) before everything kicks off. And then we hope for the best.

Hopefully itll be a little Christmas baby given the timelines. I will suck as Sannas bridesmaid though.

So pretty in the park this morning. Freezing but pretty.

W and me had a great old time while George was too snoozy to make it up. Its fine, my morning walks help my brain at the moment.

Look at this sky on fire.

This is how it is sometimes. You feel Sad and Scared and Little and Alone and definitely Not much fun to be around but thats just what it is.

Im considering what to do about my bday. I dont want to party and get drunk and stuff, to be honest i dont want much of anything. But maybe it would be good to do something fun, to see friends. I dont know. I just feel like Eeyore, like i want to sit by myself at home and mope.

Puppies and flowers

Its a freezing Monday in January and we are heading to the doctor today so my head is a bit all over the place. I think its best to leave all of this until tomorrow when we know more.

So let me tell you about my weekend instead. Filled with people and fun to take my mind of things.

On Friday Woolly and me headed to Katta for late Xmas dinner and 3 year in London celebration dinner.

She had made amazing food as always and made the table a bit Christmassy with red flowers and the star still up.

W loves it when he comes here because he always gets the most delicious left overs. And yes, he keeps following her around hoping for things to fall straigth into his mouth.

After a delicious dinner on chicken stew and ginger ice cream with oranges and cookies it was time for the gift exchange.

Katta gave me a lovely Klong vase called ang (meadow). Because it looks like a meadow when you put yout flowers in there. She said she wanted me to have something to keep me busy in these tricky times and something pretty to look at.

<3. So sweet. I love it. Plus the fact that she is looking our after our interior design needs.

I gave her a little flirty devil from Thomas Sabo. Wanted her to remember that she is a little flirty devil with laughter in her eyes and lethal the the boys hearts whenever she feels sad our tired.

Plus shes been here 3 years now. Thank universe that sent her here.

On Saturday it was bday lunch for Elin at Montys deli in Hoxton.

Elias and Anthony came with their new little whippet/italian greyhound pupper Honey. Only 12 weeks and so cute.

She won everyones heart.

Happy happy birthday angel. Cant believe we’ve been here for 9 years now.

Roxy and Honey being a bit suspicious of eachother…

Lovely to see everyone i havent seen in ages. London family.

Ben and Courts where there as well and Ben did a very impressive impersonation of a Bond villain.

After lunch we went to a pub and then back to Elin and Toms place for chit chat, pizza and cookies. Around 9 i started to flag. Have a low energy reserve at the moment so i headed home to my bed and my dog after the bestest of days.

Had got my Bloom and Wild flowers to instantly set them up on my vase from Katta. Look how pretty it is. You put individual stems in there and it does look like a mini meadow in our flat.

And this is the full boquet. Its ridicilous how much i love getting these flowers every two weeks. It makes me way to happy for just being flowers.

Hello there pretty blooms in pretty vase.

All the flowers. And the book light i got from George for Christmas. Love it. Such aspoilt girl by friends and family (and myself :))

Ha, we are not actually sad. It was all sunny and pretty on Sunday and we went for walks, bought cakes at the Ravenscourt garden cafe and then went home to the sofa. Perfect day in other words. There is only that much socialising you have in you after a weekend of people.

Stuck in my own head

You know that feeling when you get tired of yourself? I mean, not my body or anything. Im fab :). No, you get tired of your own brain and thinking/talking about the same things. Thats me right now. Im pretty bored with myself. My head is stuck in the same place and i can really only focus on one thing. And for better or worse, since ive told people about what we are going through they are being awesome and caring and asking but it means i get even more tired of myself.

I mean come on. How many times can you hear yourself talking about the same thing before you want to punsh yourself in the face 🙂

Tonight im heading to Katta. Lucky her, she gets to hang with me and my one track mind. Winner.

Woolly is being a little weirdo at the moment. He basically wants to sit on me, dont really say hi to George and barely eats. This was him all evening last night.

and this. As close as he can possibly get.

George was out with Miika from work so W and me watched anime and tried to stay out of my head. Teamwork.

Frozen London. It was freezing this morning when we got to the park and W was runnig around trying to not freeze his paws off.

Hey there lil monster.

Im spending my non drinking days with caring for my skin and using face oils and shit. Cant say i ever do much, my skin is pretty easy to manage, but when its this cold and grey even i need a little boost to not disappear in my own paleness.