2 more days and im 37…that feels…not young. Im not really stressed about it since i love my life and feel very happy about where i am and all that. However, since my mum was 36 when she had me i have always said to myself that 36 is my latest to have a baby. Since i was like 22 and dreamt of a family 36 was always that far, far away top age where ‘at least ill have a baby by then’

And here we are. I dont really need to say more about it but it makes me sad. As i said before ive kind of stopped hoping to save my heart a bit so now when i look at the future is just this baby free fog where i cant really imagine what life will be like. There are so many uncertainties about the future with Brexit, ivf, work, flat etc that i have no idea at all what the future holds.

So life is lived by the week and month at the moment. Bday on Thursday, a little bday lunch on Saturday, doctor next week and then Paris and Sydney at the end of the month and thats about as far as i can see. I mean, doesnt look to bad from where im standing for the next month.

Heres a little update on my 2 clothes a month thing. Since i bought both my items before February even started its been a very shopping free month. Good for me.

The first one was the puffa jacket and the second one these curdoroy trousers.

I look like a 70s hero. Polo neck and flared curduroys. Thats certainly a look. But i like it, makes me feel like one of the cool kids on the block.

Last night we just chilled at home. Watched Mentalist and cleared the flat after the weekend. W was totally out of  it having been a bit stressed from all the baby stuff. He is definitely happy there is no baby yet.