Sleepless in London

The not sleeping is becoming worse. Only managed 4h last night. My brain is on overload, not helped by the raging hormones.

There is a chance the egg collection won’t work. The doctors warned me. Since one of my ovaries is higher than the other. This is what my brain is focusing on right now. Ffs brain, it’s not helping.

I also keep counting the odds. You know – 10% have to do ivf – check, I have no idea about the percentage of people where ivf fail but you know, there is a chance…

Please don’t tell me this fretting is not helpful, I know! I do try and keep it at bay, my favourite is to imaging I’m walking along the roads at the country house on a sunny day. But 4 am is the witching hour, brain is not cooperating.

We are off to 2 birthday parties today. I was considering cancelling but wtf, I need to see people. Leave the sofa. Let my brain focus on other things.

George came home with flowers last night. He’s the best. Taking care of me in all this. I know it’s really hard and frustrating for him as well and I’m all over the place.

These two! Makes my life 100% better. What would I do without them?

He’s off today, doing his thing while we are out socialising.

I’m off the oral pills now. Waiting for my period. And then next week injections. We are getting there, slowly. And please, send an extra thought to the universe to make sure it all goes well.

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