One thing i somewhat hate my overactive mins for when im going through things like this is its ability to think up worst case scenarios and then play them on repeat when im trying to sleep.
Im not talking the normal stuff here, the ’embryo wont take’ or ‘we wont get any egg’ scenarios are just your everyday thoughts. Im thinking big ass scary horror movie scenarios here.
Here are some of my ‘favourites’ in no particular order (and yes, these have been looping in my head for the last 6 weeks)
– George ends up in a coma before he can give his sperm so that we miss our chance and all the medication was for nothing (the fact that he is in a coma just seems somewhat less important in this scenario)
– I break my leg on the way to the hospital and miss the egg collection.
– They mix something up on the way so when our baby comes its clearly half asian. Is it the sperm? The egg? Someone elses baby? Who knows.
– There is some sort of bombing/apocalypse/fire that means that our frozen embryos disappear.
– They accidentally give our embryos to someone else so we have to choose if we want to use theirs or nothing at all
– The modern society collapses and there is no more help to get so we have to rely on our natural ability to get pregnant which we know is pretty crap.
I kid you not. These are all things that i ponder pretty much every night among the normal thoughts of no baby, miscarriage, something being wrong with the baby etc. My head is a pretty, happy place at the moment. And this is me feeling kind of hopeful.
This is the face of a very normal, emotionally stable maybe baby person who has to eat like she is pregnant and might also imagine being made to eat a raw fish, getting sick and losing the baby.