Hans Ola

Sometimes I’m extra brilliant. Like coming up with stupid names for things. That was the only thing I was really good at when I did copywriting.

And now it’s our baby’s time…

Hahaha. Hans Ola. George didn’t really get how utterly stupid that name is and kind of liked it. I’m dying.

We had some serious luck yesterday. People in our, pretty posh, neighbourhood put things out on the street they don’t want and you are free to take it. We’ve found a W toy and a desk chair that way.

But yesterday was the motherload I’d finds. A top of the line baby car seat worth £350.

Sweet. You need one to leave the hospital but since we actually don’t have a car we won’t actually use it. So saved ourselves like £200. In our 2020 budget of baby, maternity leave and wedding all money counts.

Last night went for dinner and drinks with these cool cats. Ramen at shoryo

And then drinks at found of course. Loved being out again, feel like I haven’t seen people for ages.

Stomach likes it so so though and felt like shit all night but totally worth it. You ain’t bringing me down jellybean!

Today seeing Ella and Giles for lunch and next week is Paris and then midsummer. No rest for the wicked. Also, cross fingers the hospital call back and I get to see a midwife.

Funny gal

I’ve realised that one of the reasons I’m so primed to gloomy days is that I have a hard time remembering the good ones when I’m in a slump. The here and now becomes everything I can see and understand.

Like now. I keep thinking that this is my life now. I’m a boring person with no friends sitting on the sofa. Even if on some level I know that’s not true, I even have a very valid reason to be exhausted, I still can’t believe I will be back to being out and having fun.

This has become my identity now and I even rewrite history thinking that wasn’t I always someone just sitting at home being boring.

You see, my own worst enemy.

But, at least I’m funny…poor Hans Ola 😂. Can’t imagine and uglier name than that. But all for the art.

I do however have both Lukas and Ella on my list. Ella is on of my absolute favourites.

He, napping in the bathroom at work. The 2 min toilet nap is a pregnancy classic.

So happy to be able to be home today. Badly needed. Next week Paris and launch of our big offer.

Plus midsummer. Just need to come up with a plan for what to do. I’m too tired to plan but I really want to do something. Was hoping for a plan to fall into my lap but seems unlikely.

Like a coke bottle

Went to the GP this morning, to get referred a midwife. He told me I could do that myself. At the same hospital i did the ivf at. Ha, wish they would have told me that at the hospital and i wouldnt have to wait 2 weeks and go to the GP for nothing. Oh well, nhs, you have treated us well but sometimes you are just a little bit shit.

Anyway, did the self referral and now im just hoping to get an appointment. Want to make sure everything is as it should with jellybean. And yes, might have freaked out and dont ANOTHER pregnancy test. Still pregnant…

Cold sores, tired, sore throat and nervous about the baby. Im a joy at the moment. I dont think ive been this boring since i was out in the depression like 5 years ago. And to be honest, back then i numbed it all with booze so was an absolute laugh.

Lil jellybean at the moment. Almost human like.

And already so much development done. Crazy, i had no idea so much was done so early in the proccess.

And the most important measurement. Big as a cola bottle. 2.5cm. Thats like an actual real thing. Ish.

Ate pizza. Had a meltdown when Deliveroo didnt work. It prompted George to kindly inform me that ‘dont worry you are not pregnant. You definitely are, you are NOT normal’. Ok, ill take that.

Picked some strawberries form the garden. Dont have the same energy to take care of it as last year but some things are still growing out there and the strawberries are going strong.

So sexy at the moment. Ive been told the immune system goes to shit when you are pregnant and definitely finding it hard to bounce back from this cold. Maybe because im pretty stressed at work. So will work from home tomorrow. Me and the sofa. Again! BFFS forever.

Really want to go to sweden now. Slow walks in the country house forest and naps in the afternoons. Life here feels way to hectic for this exhaustion.

Vamos a la playa

Time for the last couple of days on the holiday. I felt like an empty shell. Im so extremely tired at the moment and being bridesmaid and then dancing until 3 was all i had in me. Woke up with the tell tale cold sore the morning after and felt like someone had hit me over the head.

Good thing we were just chilling on the beach for the last day. Got to hang with all my friends and take it super mega easy. Perfect end to the holiday.

It was warm but windy so we gave it a good couple of hours before having to give up on the waterfront.

Food instead. What an excellent photo of all my girls. Sanna was happier than that, promise.

Hanging with my goddaughter. Takes some time to win her over again but im the baby whisperer so succeeded at last.

And even got to carry her around. Win!

Then i crashed into bed at 9 with a fever and woke up the next day just to schlep myself back to London. The best thing about feeling so shit is that i decided to skip my trip to Paris on that Monday. Not worth running myself ragged and im already sporting both a nose and a mouth cold sore. Double whammy on the good stuff.

heh, Monday at work i got my new preggers tights. Looking hilarious. Extremely unsexy but very comfy. Think i have another couple of months before i need to start using them but better safe than sorry, very bloated in the evenings.

All in all a super lovely holiday but being so exhausted all the time nice to get home. I have no energy in me at the moment, its crazy.

Its the bookclub tonight and i really want to go and i am aiming too but we’ll see if i can make it. Ive never felt anything like this.

Fiesta si!

Finally at the wedding day. The third in our group to get married. Yes, im the only one left on the glass mountain. Having been bridemaid for all of them I was very happy to do my final bridemaid duties with a bang. 5 times bridesmaid and 3 times toastmaster i think im done. But, i do love it so if anyone remarries im there. Or if anyone is looking for a seasoned bridemaid im your gal.

Anyway, to Sannas beautiful spanish wedding.

Maggie explaining in spanish what they should do with the brides hair. Look at her cute belly. She is 7 months. So damn tiny (im almost that big after a good evening of eating)

Was so happy with my hair. A top braid that ended in a fish tail. Felt like some kind of viking warrior in this.

Me and the beautiful bride. Hello there gorgeous, love that smile.

Felt very pretty. Might do a version of this for my own wedding. Love braids

Look at that stunning bride. Sanna, im so happy to see you get your Peter. And to be by your side and feed you fruit and water.

And take slightly unflattering photos.

So nice wearing a black dress that was actually flattering and easy to walk and dance in.

Because awesome couple we walked into the Star wars march of course. Hehe, just like in school im tallest of everyone.

Luckily for us we were under roof while the poor guests where almost dying in the 30 degree heat.

Got the honour of sitting opposite the newly married couple. Win!

Speech ready. Of course we brought the onsies to Sannas wedding. No party without them.

And party! The poor spaniards had no idea what hit them when the wigs, tutus, glowsticks and happy eurodisco music kicked off the party.

Even if sober i did a good job at dancing and owning the dancefloor. Its in my blood.

Always a dance with the bride.

Ha, love this picture. Crazy swedes.

yes, i found myself some unicorn horns.

And all my silly friends. Miss these guys.

Ha, the only photo i have of Sanna and her bridesmaids. Awesome shot.

Filippa and Erik ruled the dancefloor.

My stomach got a bit unhappy from all the jumping around so hid by the candy.

Bed ready at 3 am. Feel like i did a good job owning the dancefloor despite sober. I can still do it.

What an absolute beautiful, lovely, fun and crazy wedding. Love you guys.

Pre wedding jitters

Its raining today. Cold and boring, true monday weather. But i didnt go to Paris so im pretty happy anyway. Dreamt i lost the baby so freaking out about that but ive understood thats basically what you do from now on, worry and freak out about your baby. Welcome the rest of my life.

But, lets talk about the awesome days in Spain marrying away my Sunny sunshine instead.

On my way to Spain and Sanna and Peters wedding. Totally ready to marry my bff off to someone as amazing as Peter.

Came into the room and an awesome goodie bag wedding kit. Yes, im a flamingo.

Loved my little toro bracelet. Its because the city we are close to is called torremolinos.

The place was magic. Run by an english couple and their son. So pretty and weird and lovely.

Got to hang with the groom. Not too nervous, they were both pretty chilled to be honest. #goals.

Dinner. I was the first one there so om the first night it was just me, the wedding couple and Peters friends from the US coming up for dinner.

Love the spanish summer night.  Could totally live here.

Hi there crew.

On the Wednesday  it was all about taking it easy and chilling in the pool.

Yes please.

And help Sanna unpack the party gear. Perfect for me.

Matchy matchy.

Then it was time for hair rehearsal (yes, this is apparently a thing…) and it ended up taking 5h!!

Peter, looking like a local fixing the last couple of things while his future wife getting pretty.

After all that hair and make up it was time for dinner on the beach with all the guests.

Me, explaining something as always…

Stole a second with the bride. She was absolutely radiant, such a beauty.

Hello there girls. Had the best time with all my old friends, god i miss sweden and all my people sometimes. But i get to go back in like 3 weeks. Woop woop!

Back home

Back from Sannas wedding. I will show you all the pictures tomorrow but most important, I survived. They got married away, it was all very beautiful, we rocked our speech and I danced until 3.

A success I would say.

Speech ready in the onsies that has followed us through the last 20 years, bought by Sannas dad in the US in the early 90s. Not as a joke!

I have however got a wicked cold. Apparently being on your feet all day running around for your BFF takes it out of you when preggers. Or maybe it was the jumping around on the dance floor..

Either way, totally worth it and the best time with all my friends. Damn I miss them sometimes.

Today super chill. I’m supposed to go to Paris tomorrow but will skip that given how I feel but George is off again. So we gather our strength and chill on the sofa.